Magic Knight Erina - Intro Episode Two.



INTRO EPISODE TWO.


The next day, BOMBERMAN returns to Bomber Base to catch up on some work. This time, instead of taking the elevator, he takes a door to an outer sector of Bomber Base: ground zero, where new bomb designs are tested and such. He steps onto a floating platform and pulls a lever. The platform floats up to another platform, which has a pathway that leads to a huge covered dome. BOMBERMAN jumps off and heads for the safety and analysis dome, a smaller area branching off from the main dome. KURO, a friend of BOMBERMAN’s decked out in black, comes up to BOMBERMAN and hands him a stack of CDs.


KURO:

Hey, Bomberdude, great to see you again! Where were you the past few weeks, though? I thought you were supposed to come back on the 18th.


BOMBERMAN:

Takes the CDs and flips through them.

That’s what I was planning on. But it’s hard to be punctual when you’re stuck in a black hole and the only way to get out is to defeat the Angel who created the universe. And that’s just the easy way of describing it!


KURO:

Snickers.

Only you could get away with an excuse like that.


BOMBERMAN:

Well, it helps to have a reputation for being on time, Mr. I’m-Lucky-If-I-Can-Get-To-First-Hour-Fifteen-Minutes-After-It-Starts.

He ducks a playful swing from KURO.

Not only that, but Jun gave me extra vacation time. So I guess it’s all good.


The two friends sit down at some available computer terminals. BOMBERMAN pops in a CD and begins to analyze the data showing up on his screen. KURO also puts in a CD, but instead of data, loud music begins blaring from the computer speakers.


BOMBERMAN:

Kuro, what in—?


KURO:

Nodding his head in time with the beat.

It’s the single by Hideo Suwa—“Boku wa Gakeppuchi!” Aww, yeah!


FEMALE VOICE:

Tsk, tsk. Don’t you have three lab reports you need to start writing right about now?


KURO and BOMBERMAN turn. Behind them is a female Bomberperson in shades of magenta—MEGUMI, BOMBERMAN’s childhood friend. She has her hands on her hips and she’s glaring at KURO.


KURO:

Sighs.

Sheesh, Megumi, who are you, my mother? I’ll get something in by the end of the semester, don’t worry about it.


MEGUMI:

Sits down at a computer terminal next to BOMBERMAN.

Well, don’t come running to me the night before finals asking for help, because I will just laugh in your face and then kick you to the curb.


KURO:

Bomberman! Megumi’s being mean to me!


BOMBERMAN:

Typing in computer commands.

I daresay you deserve it if you haven’t done those lab reports by now. I’ll bet you’re still two novels behind the reading for literature class!


KURO:

Calling up a file.

I read the first page of each novel! That’s something, right?


BOMBERMAN:

Shaking his head.

Hopeless case. Freaking hopeless case.

To MEGUMI.

So, Megumi...how’s life been for you?


MEGUMI:

Ugh! It’s been horrible! I just had the worst dates ever last week! I mean, this one guy, he looked really cute on that one dating site, but when I went to meet him, he was sooo ugly! And he smelled like armpits and Doritos! And then, this other guy, all he talked about was the art of hair-gelling and all the different brands he used! And then, this other guy—


BOMBERMAN:

Simpering.

Sorry I asked. Are you on break or something?


MEGUMI:

Looking at clock.

Yeah, but I think I gotta go back in a few minutes.

Her green eyes sparkle mischievously.

Speaking of dates...did you happen to find anyone “interesting” on your vacation? After all, what’s a vacation without some romance?


BOMBERMAN:

Thinks of LILITH and blushes.

Well...I did meet this one girl...


KURO and MEGUMI go wide-eyed. They stare intently at BOMBERMAN. He sweatdrops.


BOMBERMAN:

Please don’t stare at me like that. It’s creepy.


MEGUMI:

So what’s her name, Bomberman?


KURO:

What’s she look like?


MEGUMI:

How old is she?


KURO:

Does she prefer paper or plastic?


MEGUMI:

Vanilla or chocolate?


KURO:

Salt or pepper?


MEGUMI:

Mudshipping or Imilshipping?


KURO:

Top or bottom?


BOMBERMAN:

Blushing furiously.

Kuro!


MEGUMI:

Smacks KURO.

You’re always so vulgar, Kuro! Love is a pure, wonderful thing that has nothing to do with carnal, animalistic desires!


KURO:

Rubbing his cheek.

I was referring to bunk beds, I swear!


MALE VOICE:

Bomberbutt wouldn’t be able to answer that last question, anyway!


The trio turns. A tall, green Bomberperson is smirking nastily at them—MIDORI, BOMBERMAN’s long-time rival.


MIDORI:

I’d be surprised if he even got so much as a date out of her! The only dates he ever had were in his lunchbox!


BOMBERMAN:

Indignantly.

I happened to like those dates, thank you very much! And at least they didn’t throw punch in my face and then spit on me at senior prom right in front of our entire class!


MIDORI scowls.


KURO:

You’re not even supposed to be in this part of Bomber Base! You’re a computer technician, moron. Or has your brain been fried by a loose circuit?


MIDORI:

Very funny, Blackhead. There were too many at work at the same time, so they dismissed me. So I decided to see what you dummies were up to.


BOMBERMAN:

Snickers.

Nice to know that you’re replaceable, eh?


MIDORI:

Shut up!


MEGUMI:

Checks her watch.

Omigosh! My break’s over. I gotta get back!

She stands up.

See you guys later!


MIDORI:

Hang on a moment, there!

He links an arm around MEGUMI’s shoulder.

I’ll walk you back to work. Can’t have a pretty girl like you walking all by her lonesome now, can we?


BOMBERMAN sweatdrops heavily. KURO seethes and clenches his fists.


MEGUMI:

Um...okay. Sure.


She casts a confused look over her shoulder at BOMBERMAN and KURO before awkwardly walking off with MIDORI.


BOMBERMAN:

Eeesh. Midori really is a freak show.


KURO:

Gritting his teeth.

I’d love to rip out his intestines, roast them, and serve them to him for dinner!


BOMBERMAN:

That’s certainly a pleasant thought. Do you think he prefers salt or pepper?


KURO takes a packet of papers and swats BOMBERMAN with it.


KURO:

Shirobon! How could you make fun of my worries like that?


BOMBERMAN:

I was trying to get you to calm down! You know, for someone who’s so loud and obnoxious, you can’t even tell Megumi that you like her.


KURO:

Blushing.

It would taint her loveliness and purity if she knew!


BOMBERMAN:

Rolls eyes.

What would you rather have “tainting” her, you or Midori?


KURO:

...good point.

Looking desperate.

But what do I do, man? I like to be touchy-feely right off the bat, and she wants to take it slow! I like to eat healthy, and she dives into mountains of sugar! I’m into Beethoven and Rachmaninoff, and she digs Metallica and Godsmack! Bomberman, we’re as different as night and day! Do you think we even have a chance?


BOMBERMAN:

Well, they do say opposites attract. Maybe you could spend an afternoon together trying out something new, something neither of you have ever done before? That way, you’d have at least one thing in common.


KURO:

But that’s going to look suspicious, me asking her out of the blue if she wants to go calf-roping!


BOMBERMAN:

Tell her that it’s research for a project. Then she’ll be happy that you’re catching up.


KURO:

That’s even more suspicious! She’s going to wonder why all of a sudden I care about my education!

Suddenly KURO gets an idea.

I know! I’ll invite her to come with me to Princess Millian’s birthday party!


BOMBERMAN:

...Princess Millian’s having a birthday party?


KURO:

Yeah. Didn’t you get the invitation in the mail?


BOMBERMAN:

I think Pommy eats half of my mail. When is it?


KURO:

It’s a week from now. It’s a formal party, and you know how much Megumi loves those sorts of things! It’ll be great!


BOMBERMAN:

But you hate formal parties! And you don’t even own a tux.


KURO:

Then I’ll go out today and rent one! You’re not doing anything later today, are you?


BOMBERMAN:

Well, no...


KURO:

Good! You’re going to help me find a spiffy-looking tux! I’ll make myself over for Megumi!


BOMBERMAN:

First you have to find out whether she wants to go or not.


KURO:

...you ask her.


BOMBERMAN:

Why me? You’re the one that wants to bring her!


KURO:

We’re gonna do this spy-like, see? I’ll be subtle and smooth about it. You make it sound like some sort of group thing, but while we’re at the party, I’ll put the moves on her! That way, I won’t tip her off too early!


BOMBERMAN:

You just need to grow some vertebra.


KURO:

Simpers.

I know.


***


After a hard day of catching up on his work, BOMBERMAN returns home at about 3:30 in the afternoon. POMMY greets him at the door.


POMMY:

Jumping up and down.

Myu! Bomberman came back!


BOMBERMAN:

...don’t I always?


LILITH is sitting on a couch in the family room, watching a poker tournament on TV.


LILITH:

Hey there, Bomberman. How was your day?


BOMBERMAN:

Tosses his backpack onto the couch.

Good enough.

Looks around.

Where’s Rukifellth?


LILITH:

Oh, he’s upstairs sleeping.


BOMBERMAN:

Raises eyebrow.

At this time of day?


LILITH:

He was up all night watching Najica Blitz Tactics. I imagine he’s having cute little panty-shot dreams right about now.


BOMBERMAN:

Sweatdrops.

Well, um...I hope they’re happy panty-shot dreams.

Pause.

Anyway, how’d you guys be interested in going to a party with me a week from now? It’s a birthday party for my friend, Princess Millian.


POMMY:

Myu! Pommy wants to go to a party!


LILITH:

Hey, that sounds—whoah, you’re friends with a princess?


BOMBERMAN:

Er...yeah.

He scratches the back of his head.

We met in tragic circumstances.


LILITH:

Ain’t that always the case. But would it be okay with her? I personally like the idea of going out, but I don’t want to be a nuisance to your friends.


BOMBERMAN:

Nah, it’s no biggie. She loves having people around. “The more the merrier, and jewelry for all!” is her motto.


LILITH:

Well, if you’re sure it’s all right with her, then I’m game. But I don’t think I have anything to wear!


BOMBERMAN:

Picking up the phone and dialing MEGUMI’s number.

I’m planning to go shopping today with two friends of mine, and I’ll bring you and Rukifellth along. It’ll be a formal party, so you’ll definitely need something nice.


LILITH:

Stretching.

Ahh...finally a girl gets her shopping time. Guess I’ll need to drag Ruk back from his pervy paradise, though.


RUKIFELLTH’S VOICE:

Groggily.

No need to...I’ve long since fallen from the glories of the garden.


RUKIFELLTH shuffles downstairs in striped pajamas. His eyes are half-closed and his long hair sticks out at odd angles.


LILITH:

Cute.


Meanwhile, BOMBERMAN is talking with MEGUMI on the phone.


BOMBERMAN:

Hey, Megumi? This is Bomberman. ...yeah, hi. Were you planning on going to Princess Millian’s birthday party? ...awesome! Listen, Kuro and I were planning to do some last-minute shopping for formal wear, and I was wondering if you’d like to come with. ...no, that’s okay, I’m bringing two friends of mine to the party and one of them needs a ball gown, so you two can go together...

BOMBERMAN covers the mouthpiece and turns to LILITH.

Hey, Lil—er, Hikari? Do you have money on you?


LILITH:

Yup. Not a lot, but enough to get by.


RUKIFELLTH:

Gulping down a glass of orange juice.

That goes for me, too.


BOMBERMAN:

Goes back to talking with MEGUMI.

No, you don’t need to bring any extra money...well, see, I don’t know, because Diamond Plaza Mall is cheaper, but it’s so girly...oh, for the love of—I’m not insulting your gender! I’m just saying that Diamond Plaza Mall is more geared towards those with two X chromosomes! ...fine, how about this: I’ll go with Kuro and Pommy and my other friend to someplace else, and you and my other other friend can go hang out at Diamond Plaza. Then maybe around...6:00 or so, we’ll rendezvous at the Boom-Boom Café for some chow. ...well, I was planning to go now and pick up Kuro....yeah, fine, that’s cool. We’ll get ready now. I’ll see you later, then. ‘Bye.

BOMBERMAN hangs up.

Well, that was my friend, Megumi. She’ll be coming over in ten minutes or so to pick Lilith up and go shopping at Diamond Plaza. I’m going to drive Kuro and Ruk...somewhere else.


POMMY:

But what about Pommy?


BOMBERMAN:

Um...I guess you can go with Lilith and Megumi to Diamond Plaza.

Takes out his wallet and hands a few bills to POMMY.

Buy a gift for Millian. And make it good, dawg.


POMMY:

Takes money.

Myu! You can count on Pommy!


RUKIFELLTH:

Why does Pommy get to go with the girls?


BOMBERMAN:

Because he’s neutered.


LILITH and RUKIFELLTH give BOMBERMAN horrified looks.


BOMBERMAN:

Blinks.

What, you thought I was serious? Come on, I’m not that horrible! Now let’s get dressed and grab our dough so we can go!


***


After long hours of shopping and looking and looking and shopping, the group meets at the Boom-Boom Café, just as planned. The café isn’t very crowded today, so they have no problems finding seats.


BOMBERMAN:

Well, we’re all present and accounted for. That’s good. No men overboard...or women for that matter.


RUKIFELLTH:

Wincing.

Ow...my feet hurt so bad from all that walking. How in the world can women feel energized by shopping? It’s pure insanity!


LILITH:

You call it insanity, but we call it estrogen.


RUKIFELLTH:

I knew the gender gap was genetic!


A waitress comes to their table, greets them, hands out menus, and then leaves. The group proceeds to check out their choices.


KURO:

Ah, the ever-famous explosive chicken. I’d get that, but my stomach’s been upset with me lately. Plus...the calories...and cholesterol!

Shudders.


RUKIFELLTH:

Mulls this over.

Hmm...I think I’m up for it.


KURO:

You sure, Takeru? It’s got ten different kinds of hot sauces and three hybrids of jalapenos.


RUKIFELLTH:

Crosses arms.

Hah! That’s a rather...bland...combination.


LILITH:

Rolls eyes.

This coming from a man who cries while eating onion rings.


RUKIFELLTH:

Defensively.

It’s nostalgia value! They remind me of my joyous childhood days romping through urban fields of innocence! Besides, what’s wrong with trying something new?


LILITH:

Famous last words.


KURO:

Shrugs.

Well, they’re his taste buds. What are the rest of you guys ordering?


BOMBERMAN:

Eh, probably a burger with fries. And, um...grape juice. Nothing fancy. I just need to get some food in my stomach.


LILITH:

Fried chicken and mashed potatoes for me and a glass of Coke.


POMMY:

Pommy wants a slice of pepperoni pizza and Dr. Pepper!


MEGUMI:

I’m skipping dinner and going straight for dessert! Super-special hot fudge sundae with three cherries and tons of sprinkles!


All look at KURO.


KURO:

Ah, um...what she’s getting.


MEGUMI gives KURO a weird glance. KURO doesn’t look at her, but he’s blushing slightly. BOMBERMAN sweatdrops. A silence falls over the table.


BOMBERMAN:

So...shopping. How’d you guys do?


MEGUMI:

Clasps hands in ecstasy.

So many dresses, not enough occasions to wear them! It was pure fashion heaven. The pain of choosing just one!


LILITH:

I still think that little emerald green number looked better on you.


MEGUMI:

Well, I don’t have any yellow in my wardrobe! And it was at a good price.


RUKIFELLTH:

See, men have it simpler. We only have three choices: black, black, or black. Personally...I prefer black.


MEGUMI:

The male world is a dreary place indeed.


LILITH:

Except for bright white panty-shots.


RUKIFELLTH:

Looking offended.

And that’s a bad thing?


BOMBERMAN:

Er...what’d you get for Princess Millian, Pommy?


POMMY:

Pommy found this great necklace! It has diamonds and sapphires and other pretty things on it! Pommy will show it to Bomberman at home.


BOMBERMAN:

Are you sure it’s really diamonds and not really cubic zirconias or something?


POMMY:

Growls.

Myu! Does Bomberman not trust Pommy’s judgment?


BOMBERMAN:

Not really.


POMMY pouts and sulks. The waitress returns, and BOMBERMAN gives her the orders. The waitress then collects the menus back and leaves.


BOMBERMAN:

Come on, don’t be a brat. I bought you a bowtie while me and the guys were shopping, so you’ll look just as spiffy as the rest of us.


POMMY:

Brightening up.

Myu! Now Pommy has a new collar and a new bowtie!


LILITH:

Just don’t wear them together.


POMMY:

Pommy can’t wear the collar and the bowtie together?


MEGUMI:

Of course not! You don’t want to look uncoordinated.


LILITH:

Besides, if you had the bowtie on, people wouldn’t be able to see the name on your collar.


POMMY:

Thinking this over.

Well, Pommy supposes that makes sense...


Meanwhile, KURO is trying to figure out how to strike up a conversation with MEGUMI. His eyes keep darting to her, but he never opens his mouth to speak. He’s also fidgeting nervously. BOMBERMAN sees this and sweatdrops. This goes on for a few more minutes as LILITH and MEGUMI continue to chatter. Finally, BOMBERMAN slams his palms down onto the table and stands up, startling everyone.


BOMBERMAN:

I need to go to the bathroom. Kuro, come with me.


KURO:

Blinks.

...why?


BOMBERMAN:

Trying to tip KURO off.

You know.


KURO:

Still confused.

No, I don’t.


BOMBERMAN:

Exasperated.

You know...the incident.

His eyes glance quickly at MEGUMI.


KURO:

Oh, um...yeah. The incident. Right, right.

He gets up.

Yeah, I’ll be accompanying Bomberman to the bathroom because, um...he doesn’t believe me when I say that the Piranha Plants-in-toilets thing only happens in the Mushroom Kingdom.


Everyone has an expression of surprise and confusion on his or her face. BOMBERMAN glares, grabs KURO by his arm, and drags him off to the bathroom. After a moment of silence, RUKIFELLTH snickers.


RUKIFELLTH:

Funny, I thought only women went to the bathroom in pairs.


LILITH:

Yeah, so we can spot each other.


RUKIFELLTH:

Say...


LILITH:

Don’t start.


In the bathroom, BOMBERMAN has practically cornered KURO.


BOMBERMAN:

What is the freakin’ matter with you? Why are you doing all those weird things? She’s not blind or stupid; she’s had to have noticed by now!


KURO:

Still flustered.

I can’t help it! I’m so nervous!


BOMBERMAN:

You were never like this before when you talked to her!


KURO:

That’s because I’ve never had to talk to her with a purpose!


BOMBERMAN:

Just wait until the party to try and “put the moves on her,” as you so eloquently put it.


KURO:

But wouldn’t it be better to tip her off just a teensy bit, so she’s not totally surprised at the party?


BOMBERMAN:

Your little nervous habits have done that already.


KURO:

Sighing.

Man, this is so lame! I can’t believe that I can’t even find a word to say to her!


BOMBERMAN:

Trust me, the axiom “actions speak louder than words” completely apply to your situation. Now just calm yourself down and breathe! It’s gonna be fine. Now let’s get back. Don’t want them to be wondering about my apparent fear of Piranha Plants coming out of the toilets.


KURO:

Sweatdrops.

Sorry...


BOMBERMAN and KURO make their way back to the table. KURO slides in uncertainly next to MEGUMI, and BOMBERMAN takes his own seat.


RUKIFELLTH:

So then I’m like, why didn’t you just go for the blonde one? She was cuter and way nicer, anyway. A total angel, I’m telling you! And then he’s like, well, she doesn’t have boobs!


MEGUMI:

Rolls eyes.

Absolutely disgusting, the way you men play the dating game. You mean your friend dumped a perfectly decent girl because she had strawberries instead of watermelons?


RUKIFELLTH:

Blinks.

What’s wrong with not liking strawberries?


LILITH:

Forget it, Megumi. I’ve dealt with this man for longer than anyone should; there’s no getting through to him.


RUKIFELLTH:

Giving LILITH a sly look.

Well, if you would just go out with me...


LILITH:

You honestly think you can win me over with just that simple line?


RUKIFELLTH:

Shrugs.

It was worth a shot.

Smirks.

And it wouldn’t really matter what the answer was—I’d be damned either way.


LILITH gives him a strange look. RUKIFELLTH whistles innocently. The waitress returns with everyone’s orders, then leaves.


POMMY:

Yay! Pommy has his pepperoni pizza!

He takes a big bite of his slice, and promptly spits it back out—right onto BOMBERMAN’s plate of food.

Myu, yuck! What kind of pizza is this?


LILITH:

Blinking in mid-bite of her chicken.

Ah, um...I believe it’s pepperoni pizza?


POMMY:

Looking indignant.

False advertising is what it is! Whoever made this pizza used a bland sort of cheese filled with additives, and to make up for it, they doused this with lots of extra old spices that housed an ant colony! Furthermore, the crust isn’t even fully cooked, and the grease is so fatty it’s not even funny! Did Pommy mention the carcinogens in the pepperoni?


MEGUMI:

Since when did the fluffball become a food critic?


LILITH:

Since when did Pommy know a word like “carcinogens”?


BOMBERMAN:

Poking POMMY’s half-chewed glob of pizza off his plate.

Since when was Pommy able to sense cancer-causing agents in food? Is it some hidden sense that Kirby sub-species have?


POMMY:

Pommy just has refined taste!


BOMBERMAN:

Biting into a fry.

Refined...like crude oil.


POMMY:

...myu?


BOMBERMAN:

I’ll share some of my food, if you don’t want your pizza.


POMMY:

O-okay.


With POMMY’s wrath abated for now, everyone begins munching their way through their meals as easy listening music plays over the speakers. Well...almost everyone.


KURO:

Giving RUKIFELLTH a dubious look.

I see you haven’t touched your explosive chicken.


RUKIFELLTH

Giving KURO a dubious look.

I see you haven’t touched your super-special hot fudge sundae.


And indeed, KURO and RUKIFELLTH’s respective orders have sat untouched since the waitress put them down. The sundae is melting ever so slowly, while the chicken steams into the air.


KURO:

Smirking.

What’s the matter? You scared?


RUKIFELLTH:

Of what, some headless poultry currently on its back steeped in a million different sauces? You wish!

He crosses his arms.

What about you, mister? Are the technicolored sugar sprinkles making you feel like you’re in some trippin’ hallucination with flying pink cows from Mars that’ll brain-rape you with slash fanfiction?


KURO:

Stares at RUKIFELLTH.

...you suck so much.


RUKIFELLTH:

Whoah, now, I don’t curve that way, okay?


KURO:

Sighs.

All right. We’re both being total jackholes about this thing for no apparent reason—


MEGUMI:

Already one-third of the way through her sundae.

And I can testify to that.


KURO:

Blushing furiously.

And, ah...yeah, we’re b-being idiots about this...you know, whole thing, so...why don’t we just...delve in together?


RUKIFELLTH:

Arching an eyebrow.

Are you challenging me to a duel?


KURO:

N-no! Just...dude, let’s just eat our food, okay?


RUKIFELLTH:

Takes a deep breath and slices off a piece of his chicken.

Right. Of course.

He lifts his fork to his mouth, then looks over at KURO.

You with me, now?


KURO:

Gulps and digs a spoon into the curved heap of chocolate-drenched vanilla ice cream on his dish.

Y-yeah.

He holds the spoon up.

On the count of three...


RUKIFELLTH:

One.


KURO:

Two.


RUKIFELLTH:

Three!


Everyone else watches as KURO and RUKIFELLTH stuff their food into their mouths. There’s a few moments of silence as the two process their food and swallow. Then...


RUKIFELLTH:

Turning bright red and jumping up, clutching at his throat.

I...I think I need to find a water fountain. Or a toilet.

And he rushes to the back of the café.


KURO:

Grimacing, with his teeth shattering.

Oh, man...the coldness...the sweetness...the trans fat! I can feel my teeth rotting away right now!

He also jumps up, knocking over a condiments tower in the process.

Salad! Need...salad! Need...leafiness!

He runs for the salad bar, barreling over a number of other people along the way.


MEGUMI:

Chewing on a cherry.

Looks like the start of a beautiful friendship.


BOMBERMAN:

Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that.


LILITH:

Kuro is...certainly strange, Bomberman.


BOMBERMAN:

He’s actually pretty average when compared to some other people at Bomber Base. Just...people do weird things...for weird reasons...you know?


LILITH blinks. Then she smiles.


LILITH:

Ah...of course.


MEGUMI:

What are you guys talking about?


BOMBERMAN:

Twiddles thumbs.

Nothing.


MEGUMI:

Glaring.

You know I don’t like being left out of potentially juicy conversations, Shirobon.


BOMBERMAN:

Argh! Both you and Kuro have used my full name today! What’s the deal, man? I feel like my parents are ratting on me again!


MEGUMI:

Have they been ratting on you again?


BOMBERMAN:

Shakes head and takes a fry that POMMY was reaching for.

No, actually. They’ve been pretty quiet. I guess I shut them up a bit when I aced that quantitative reasoning class during the summer quarter.


MEGUMI:

With my help, of course.


BOMBERMAN:

Waving her off.

Pfft. They don’t have to know that!


MEGUMI:

Speaking of things people don’t have to know...there’s been talk going around the Base about some secret plan General Jun and the higher-ups have been planning for a while.


BOMBERMAN:

Looks up from picking off pickles from his burger.

What?


MEGUMI:

I hear my computer science professors talking about it after hours. Some cybernetics project based on the research done by some students. I think a lot of them are from our year.


BOMBERMAN:

I’ll bet Ao was on that list.


MEGUMI:

Shrugs.

Anyway, that’s the gist of it. The Base is working on a cybernetics project that’s been hush-hush for a while. Which means, of course, that everyone is gossiping about it.


BOMBERMAN:

Drinking his grape juice.

This is the first I’ve heard of it. Have people been saying anything else about it?


MEGUMI:

Something about forming a new taskforce team at Bomber Base, but I think the upperclassmen have been passing that around so they can get the newbies to take over some janitorial duties at the Base and its residential complexes.


BOMBERMAN:

Wincing.

Like the laundry.


MEGUMI:

And bathroom cleaning.


LILITH:

Why get the younger students to do it if there are janitors around?


BOMBERMAN:

The upperclassmen call it initiation.


MEGUMI:

We call it cruel and unusual punishment.


BOMBERMAN:

Because more often than not, the upperclassmen are cruel...


MEGUMI:

And definitely unusual.


LILITH:

Stark raving sane?


BOMBERMAN:

You could put it that way.


POMMY:

Looking around.

Myu, where’s Rukifellth? His food’s getting cold.


BOMBERMAN:

Snickers.

Judging from his reaction to that chicken, I don’t believe he’ll be eating the rest of it.


LILITH:

Let me see just how spicy this thing is.

LILITH takes the fork and carves out a piece to eat. Her eyes go wide, and she fans her tongue.

Damn! That is hot!

In an attempt to soothe her burning throat, she grabs Bomberman’s glass of grape juice and chugs it down.


BOMBERMAN:

Nearly falls off chair.

Hey! My grape juice!


LILITH:

Simpers.

Sorry.

She contritely holds out her glass of Coke.

Peace?


BOMBERMAN:

Blushes.

Uh...sure.

He takes the glass and sips from it.


RUKIFELLTH finally returns to his seat, still a bit frazzled.


RUKIFELLTH:

Shaking his head.

Whew! That was hotter than Hikari in a yellow polka-dot bikini!


LILITH:

Smirking.

Not quite, cowboy.


RUKIFELLTH:

Frowns.

Don’t I at least get points for trying?


LILITH:

You get points for trying that hellbound Chicken Little on your plate. I don’t blame you for running out to the water fountain after tasting that thing.


RUKIFELLTH:

Actually, I used the toilet.

LILITH gives him an incredulous look.

I was kidding! I used the water fountain near the restrooms. Though I think I must have killed a few fish doing so.


KURO comes back with a plate heaped with all sorts of leafy greens and colorful vegetables.


KURO:

Ah...nothing like crisp, cool veggies to clean out the palate.


RUKIFELLTH:

I’m assuming you’re not going to be eating the rest of that?

He points to KURO’s half-melted sundae.


KURO:

Er...


RUKIFELLTH:

Thanks, bud.

He snatches the dish from KURO’s place and pours the contents into his mouth.


MEGUMI:

Sadly.

I could’ve eaten that, you know.


KURO:

Angrily.

Takeru, you insensitive jerk!


RUKIFELLTH:

Confused, with streams of melted ice cream dripping from his mouth.

What’d I do?


KURO:

Points at MEGUMI.

You made Megumi cry! Apologize to her right now!


RUKIFELLTH:

But—


KURO:

No excuses! I won’t have the likes of another Midori around here!


RUKIFELLTH:

Oh, for—


MEGUMI:

Kuro, I’m not crying.


KURO:

How dare you presume to trespass on—you’re not?

MEGUMI shakes her head.

...oh.

He sheepishly sits back down.


BOMBERMAN:

Groans and lays his head down on the table.

Check, please...


POMMY pounces on the remnants of BOMBERMAN’s hamburger.



End of Intro Episode Two.